tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101129722011-08-21T14:55:38.626-05:00A confusing admixture of narcissistic ramblings and unfunny non-sequiturs, in which the reader discovers that s/he would have been better off reading a damn book.middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.comBlogger1421100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-5680470020106532042008-07-24T17:42:00.001-05:002008-07-24T17:43:57.440-05:00

I've obtained new hosting. Check me out here.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-69877782338674238662007-07-12T15:49:00.000-05:002007-07-14T13:17:28.064-05:00

I had big plans for this next post, a grand salute to one of the greatest retailers in American history, the Sears Roebuck Corporation."What's that, pinko?" you ask, "You would say nice things about a multi-million-dollar corporation without insinuating that they feed babies to mutated puppies?"Indeed, I would reply, but then they had to go and disappoint me, but I suppose it wasn't really their

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-72365713806403878332007-06-20T21:41:00.000-05:002007-06-20T21:44:58.409-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Greatest Five Second Video on the Internet (make sure you've got audio):There is no more inside.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-39717548854796832382007-05-04T08:34:00.000-05:002007-05-04T09:17:25.602-05:00

Two months to the day. That must be a sitewide record.Yes, I again ran until I hurt, this time in the hilly hills of midtown Nashville, Tennessee. There, under weather conditions that were frankly too warm, I pounded pavement from Centennial Park to LP Field, home of the Tennessee Titans. I finished nearly six full minutes off my Little Rock time, and I'm happy enough with that. Nashville's

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-66857709635837516992007-03-04T17:38:00.000-06:002007-03-05T19:20:20.211-06:00

Well, the good news is my ankle doesn't hurt, thanks to a combo of increased naproxin dosage, extremely reduced mileage in the last two weeks of training, and careful attention to how I run. The bad news is now my hip hurts, I believe due in large part to inadequate stretching after the race. Later I plan to break that hip, and then begin a life full of bermuda shorts and velcro shoes.But the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-18582622339750916852007-02-27T11:22:00.000-06:002007-02-27T11:50:03.579-06:00

Jack, everybody. Everybody, Jack.Yes, dear readers, it has a penis.This whole pregancy thing wasn't entirely real to me before yesterday. I mean, there were all the usual external signs: my wife started eating more, getting more emotional, not sleeping as well, farting, etc., but these were merely changes of degree, not of kind. It was missustool turned up to eleven. The sort of thing that

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1171696865684637742007-02-17T01:14:00.000-06:002007-02-17T01:21:05.956-06:00

My goddamn ankle hurts.It began with grand visions of spritual healing and ends with me here, ice on my bare ankle on a Friday night. Life do take the occasional ironic turn, ain't she.I'll not bore you with more whining. I feel I've done more than enough of that here. So suffice it to say that this has been a rough week both at work and at home, replete with large bills and increased

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1169320583017565902007-01-20T13:07:00.000-06:002007-01-20T15:38:53.213-06:00

So things are looking better. Well, even. If everything goes as hoped and planned, it could turn out to be downright wonderful for me.Also, I ran ten miles this morning, my first double-digit run ever. I have nothing left to give today.As you might expect from my previous post, my anxiety levels have been pretty high these last few days. My own worry about my future, the job market, and

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1168386233437161092007-01-09T17:39:00.000-06:002007-01-09T17:43:53.463-06:00

And just when I had castigated myself thoroughly for my own cynicism, this pinch of salt over the left shoulder, that half-joke about waiting for the other shoe to drop, lo and behold, that fucker indeed hit the floor.I've been outsourced.I won't get into it much here, because there's nothing I can type that won't make me sound like the weepy, bitter, self-pitying bastard that I frankly am right

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1166820058679417182006-12-22T14:18:00.000-06:002006-12-22T14:40:58.763-06:00

Hey! Look what I got for Christmas![What follows is from the Christmas letter my wife and I sent out this season, our first ever. Feel free to gag or ridicule as the mood strikes you. Ten years ago, when I was stoned and playing Resident Evil, I never suspected that I would be the author of a Christmas family newsletter, and I suppose it's only a matter of time before I'm dressing up my

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1163370324333329132006-11-12T16:22:00.000-06:002006-11-12T16:26:25.663-06:00

To Whom it May Concern:Enclosed, please find what remains of one of your Compackteam-brand hiking backpacks. Please note the condition of said backpack, purchased brand new in the USA in September of this year. This condition is what we in the software development business usually designate as “assy.” (I write accounting software, if that helps.)You will note that the shoulder straps and top “

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1154812093533434322006-08-05T16:00:00.000-05:002006-08-05T16:08:13.560-05:00

Sorry I've been away.Darn easy to fall out of the habit, especially as I no longer have the luxury of posting from work — well, maybe I do, but the iron fist of our ops division makes me afraid to actually attempt it. Traffic's monitored pretty tightly, so I limit myself to the occasional comment here and there. Besides, I actually have work to do now...but I won't make excuses. Don't have

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1151277790300618122006-06-25T18:11:00.000-05:002006-06-25T18:29:58.050-05:00

This week's tool, like many of its predecessors, comes with some backstory and a small share of emotional baggage. We here at The Tool Shed will be making full use of it come tomorrow morn, when the ever brainy and busty missustool will be going under the knife.It will be her second major spinal surgery in six years, and if all goes well, she will return to Casa de la Herramienta (just down the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1151110927216249002006-06-23T19:31:00.000-05:002006-06-23T20:02:07.246-05:00

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. And my dress was so fabulous.It's a bit confusing to me, but here's the wrap-up:We got three awards, counting the audience award. That's one I'm quite proud of, because it came from the local supporters of the project — most of whom, it should be noted, were our competitors. We also won it in from-the-foul-line-slam-dunk fashion, winning by more than 60

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1150500218912669132006-06-16T18:06:00.000-05:002006-06-17T12:26:43.646-05:00

So I return to you now having seen every one of the 28 films shot for the Little Rock 48 Hour Film Project. Truth be told, I was so proud of our movie going in that I thought we had it in a walk.I was very, very surprised at what I saw. Overall quality from last year is remarkably better, the talent pool much deeper, and the competition that much tougher.This year's screenings were like last in

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1150084852470507582006-06-11T22:56:00.000-05:002006-06-11T23:00:52.523-05:00

Just a little quick bookkeeping tonight, folks. Just touching base to keep you all up to speed.I saw the movie tonight.It was fantastic. Better than last year's. More to the point, finished on time. Even more to the point, one of the best 48 Hour Films I've ever seen, twice as good as last year's international winner. Robert Kirkpatrick, our director, has called it the best movie he's made

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1150007577156641922006-06-11T01:25:00.000-05:002006-06-11T23:01:26.753-05:00

This time last year, I was camped out at my sister-in-law's place, house- and dog-sitting, recovering from a grueling day's shoot. I thought I was tired. I look back on that now with the same admixture of amusement and bemusement that I normally reserve for remembering high school. I think, aww, I was cute back then.Holy shit, am I tired. And sunburned. My ass is quite literally chapped. We

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1149919286952185402006-06-10T00:59:00.000-05:002006-06-10T01:01:26.986-05:00

It's a quarter to one in the morning, and though our script is a bit long, it is finished, and if I may say so, it's pretty damned good. Let's hope we don't fuck it up.I'm not prepared to say that the 48 Hour Film Gods were winking at us — they tried to roger us with our pants on, in fact, but I'll be damned if we didn't slip out the backdoor just in time. It went down like this:As per the plan

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1149821439733321152006-06-08T21:43:00.000-05:002006-06-08T21:50:39.763-05:00

Tonight we had preliminary cast and crew meetup, and spirits were as high as last year's. Resident genius David Koon again showed up with his home-rolled woodshop gear: this year a fig rig (low-tech, of course) and a handheld steadycam rig made of PVC pipe and wheelbarrow bearings. Man's an artist.We had a houseful of sweaty, vaguely stanky people (the heat down here is already bordering on

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1149395407360910732006-06-03T23:29:00.000-05:002006-06-03T23:33:12.596-05:00

So it's that time again, boys and girls. Movie time. Magic time.The 48 Hour Film Project has returned again to the wilds of central Arkansas, and I and my team are once again girding ourselves for battle. And as last year, I will ever-so-dutifully blog the process. With an added bonus: this time, come hell or high water, I promise all of you the chance to witness our genius firsthand, the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1149128791000140682006-05-31T21:21:00.000-05:002006-05-31T21:26:31.030-05:00

One of the finest men I have ever known remembered my birthday last month and, in celebration, sent me one mother of a care package from way up in the God-forsaken tundra that is New York state. Summoning his considerable creative powers, he assembled his gifts around a theme, one you all know is near and dear to my heart: Usefulness. With great care, he put together an assemblage of simple,

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1147312826520401862006-05-10T20:54:00.000-05:002006-05-10T21:00:26.563-05:00

Well, the semester has ended, my last full one, and I find that I do not know what to do with myself. My wife is not home, is out tending to family business. I have not, in fact, laid eyes on her in the last 24 hours. A remarkable achievement that I am willing to teach to any curious husband out there. My price is $1000 US.So what do I do? After spending eighteen hours a day for roughly the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1147228649830636332006-05-09T21:03:00.000-05:002006-05-10T09:34:45.940-05:00

This week's tool is a little personal, so I'll give y'all full disclosure up front, in case you don't know and happen to care: my wife is a writer and associate editor at the Arkansas Times. The reason for this disclosure will be clear soon enough.Recent events have brought this week's tool very much to the forefront of my mind, but a hellish semester end prevented me from spreading the word to

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1144898623182044402006-04-12T22:06:00.000-05:002006-04-12T22:23:43.216-05:00

The story has it that a man was caught in a rainstorm and took shelter in an old barn nearby. He climbed up into the hayloft and decided to wait out the storm from there, and was eventually lulled to sleep by his own exhaustion and the susurrating rhythm of the storm's hiss and rumble. He awoke soon after midnight and saw, to his surprise, a large group of cats walking on the barn's rafters.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1143693608108798382006-03-29T22:36:00.000-06:002006-03-29T22:40:08.156-06:00

Just a quick one for right now. I don't dare risk blogging from work for a while now — my entry into the world of programming means much more strictly monitored computer usage, and given that I'm still a pink-skinned newbie with a lot of hazing ahead of him, I'd rather not push things. But though I don't have much time this evening, I just wanted to drop in and update you all on my first day at

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1142916672282255942006-03-20T22:50:00.000-06:002006-03-20T22:55:33.006-06:00

We bring new tools. Oh yes, we do. We bring mystical tools.Mankind's history is replete with the forming of secret societies. My maternal grandfather, for example, was a Freemason. I remember his funeral well, the way the gentleman from his lodge draped a white apron over the end of his coffin and began chanting the black mass while sacrificing a goat without blemish with an obsidian blade

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1142025350632328352006-03-10T14:57:00.000-06:002006-03-10T19:02:46.316-06:00

Time for some good news to round out the week, I think, so today I'm just checking in to say hello and blather on about the good fortune I mentioned in the last thread.It's been on my mind today, the new job, because I just got the call yesterday that confirmed the extensive background check was satisfactory and that Big Rich Company, Inc. was confident I would not pee in their coffee. Thank God

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1141162283148604072006-02-28T15:13:00.000-06:002006-02-28T15:33:14.883-06:00

Bob has made another attempt, not 24 hours after his release from the hospital. This time it was attempted suicide by cop. He did not succeed.I'll go ahead and say what most of you either already knew or guessed: "Bob" isn't just a friend, he's family.This is absolutely horrid. This is the end of life as his family knows it and the beginning of an interminable hell. He is being committed for

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1140715073358062712006-02-23T11:05:00.000-06:002006-02-23T19:08:11.113-06:00

I wrote a post recently about the real world crashing in on the virtual, a shock reminding us that though the interface may be artificial, there are indeed people at the other ends of these connections. Part of the point being a need for us to examine our role in the communities we serve and to seek the greatest, most authentic contribution we can.That's a troublesome word, "authentic." One

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1140492376695270522006-02-20T21:19:00.000-06:002006-02-20T21:26:16.836-06:00

As promised, we return to the Land That Size Forgot, where the usefulness of all things is inversely proportional to their respective volumes. This week we solve the age-old problem of How To Carry All These Stupid Cards Without Having a Wallet the Size of a Canned Ham, a solution that has so far worked quite well for me. It's thin, flexible, and best of all, doesn't give you the luxury of

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1140215283783791192006-02-17T16:14:00.000-06:002006-02-17T16:48:06.116-06:00

RICKY ROMA: How you doin' tonight. Rough night out there. The rain, innit? Dangerous. Make you — somebody's gonna slide offa bridge.CHANTICLEER: Soon one mornin', death come-a creepin' in your room...RR: That's what I'm sayin', exactly. You wake up, I'll have some toast, a little coffee, maybe a poached egg, BAM, aneurism. C: Soon one mornin', death come-a creepin' in your roo-oo-oo-oom...

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1139892620473984182006-02-13T22:37:00.000-06:002006-02-14T08:42:31.376-06:00

This week I had intended to continue the miniaturization theme, as it's a subject I spend entirely too much time thinking about. I will most likely pick it up next Monday or Tuesday, so y'all can see my super-sweet Skoal can condom case. Smells like Wintergreen, leaves her with a pleasant head buzz.I'm briefly detouring from the Way of the Teensy, however, because this week's tool is (a)

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1139280261308575062006-02-06T20:37:00.000-06:002006-02-06T20:44:36.373-06:00

I'm crazy about the miniaturization, so this week, we're going to stick with tiny, yet versatile solutions for the hobbit-on-the-go. Did you like the Foldz Flat pen? No? Then you'll find this to be equally stupid!Find yourself wishing for an eight-page disposable pocket notebook and organizer? Maybe one that reminds you of appointments and lets you play games? No? Then I'm really about to

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1139002607388237252006-02-03T15:26:00.000-06:002006-02-03T16:46:44.086-06:00

At bottom, of course, few of you know me. Goes without saying. I'm a blip. A few packets of ones and zeroes. Something to avoid that paperwork you're supposed to be doing. This place isn't me, nor is my presence in it. I've spent a couple of years perhaps half-intentionally constructing my presence online — in communities, in building and maintaining my own blog, in keeping a public record

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1138654411022115682006-01-30T14:26:00.000-06:002006-01-30T15:03:14.473-06:00

There comes a time in every professional man's life when he must make a decision: either pare down the clutter that you carry with you every day, or else give up and get yourself a good murse. But the noble and much-maligned murse carries a stigma, all but guaranteeing that your friends and family, slackjawed philistines that they are, will openly mock you.Are you ready for that pressure? No?

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1138082842003136712006-01-23T23:46:00.000-06:002006-01-24T08:57:06.950-06:00

So the good news is, I don't have testicular cancer.The other good news is, I am now a man.The bad news, well..I'll spare you as much of the gory details as possible, but...oh, hell, no I won't. The details are funny. Besides, I've decided not to hold back.But it starts out a bit gross, maybe. See, I've been having problems. Boy problems. Started off with little stuff — the occasionally weak

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1136352789416726452006-01-03T23:22:00.000-06:002006-01-04T08:33:32.796-06:00

Not going to get fun with the new year's first tool, as it's fairly serious. Most of you have no doubt heard about it by now, and I've emailed quite a few of my less web-dorky readers to alert them as well, but I figure you can't have too much of this kind of thing, so by God, I'm going to get repetitive on a few of you. This is pretty serious.This week's tool is the hexblog unofficial WMF

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1136076479342250852005-12-31T18:33:00.000-06:002005-12-31T18:47:59.403-06:00

We're gearing up for a quiet evening at home for New Year's. A few friends are coming by, and the Mrs. and I will be serving them dinner and wine. The menu tonight will be pork chops in an apple-bourbon glaze, cranberry and wild rice stuffing, and either broccoli or steamed soybeans, I'm not sure which. The Ginocchios will be bringing the wine, the Standridges some beer, and the six of us will

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1135368900964978062005-12-23T14:06:00.000-06:002005-12-23T14:15:01.116-06:00

Mrs. Tool and I started a new tradition this year: we cut down our own Christmas tree. Or, more accurately, we picked it out, I cut it down, and managed to slice the holy hell out of my thumb in the process. On the plus side, tree sap makes a mighty fine natural coagulant. Once you stop screaming, of course.It's pretty, the biggest tree we've ever had so far. Smells good. The star at the top

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1135114723882741272005-12-20T15:09:00.000-06:002005-12-20T15:46:25.516-06:00

This week we get our tool from the Department of Shameless Nepotism and Good Ol' Boy Promotion. It is the brain child of two dear friends of mine, still in its infancy, but with great potential for growth and longevity. It encompasses two of my favorite topics, food and wine, which together comprise fully 50% of the reasons I consider life to be worth living. I have posted on these topics

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1134591314754361182005-12-14T13:28:00.000-06:002005-12-14T22:54:27.983-06:00

I return to you from weeks of end-of-semester cramming, sobbing, rending of garments, binge drinking, small woodland creature maltreatment and office drama the likes of which I have flat-out never seen in my life.And what do I find? All my sweet, sweet bitches begging for more of my genius.Then I shall not disappoint! I shall return with the crash of lightning and the terrible tympanic roll of

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1132632974504775082005-11-21T22:09:00.000-06:002005-11-21T22:16:14.540-06:00

Ah, the joys of homeownership. Nothing makes you feel your age or teaches you more about your own physical, financial, and technological limitations than buying and maintaining an eighty-year-old house. It means never having a weekend with nothing to do, not having an excuse not to learn how to do electrical work.I've shared my misadventures in home repair and improvement here before, and I'll

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1131556064403384092005-11-09T11:04:00.000-06:002005-11-09T11:07:44.443-06:00

I'll say up front that I have no personal experience whatsoever with this week's tool, but what little I've seen of it intrigues me enough to merit some investigation. This one is for you creatively-inclined types out there, for those moments when you've hit your head against the wall and can't find your way around or over or through it. Call it creative lubrication, oracular inspiration, mind

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1131080666112381232005-11-03T22:55:00.000-06:002005-11-03T23:04:26.166-06:00

Growing up, it seems, is learning. That's pretty much it. Yes, there seems to be some cell-division involved, not to mention a (blessedly temporary) ramping up of hormone levels, but even factoring that into account, most of growing up is learning. Learning new skills, new means of expression, new trends, new technology — sure, all of that, but it appears that the really important stuff isn't

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1130888359016024722005-11-01T17:14:00.000-06:002005-11-01T17:39:19.050-06:00

Let me begin by apologizing for the lateness of this week's tool post. This is looking like the week from hell for me, and I have a lot to say, but events are putting me behind schedule. More on that later in the week, as I suspect you'll find it at least a bit intriguing, if you find suspicious coincidences and moral philosophy intriguing.At any rate, this week's tool is so supremely awesome

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1130450236787118332005-10-27T16:52:00.000-05:002005-10-27T16:57:16.820-05:00

This post really only concerns my fellow Arkies, specifically those who were involved in the film project earlier this year. If my sitemeter logs are any indicator, my blog evidently really made the rounds among the competing Little Rock teams, and some of my comments in the posts from that competition apparently stirred quite a bit of shit. (No, I'm not going to link them. They're not that

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1130201173811197122005-10-24T19:42:00.000-05:002005-10-24T20:22:45.953-05:00

Yet again, the cold weather comes, and yet again, it brings with it reports of spiking natural gas prices. It seems like it's becoming an annual tradition now — I can't remember the last time I didn't hear my neighbors yelling "Forty percent increase! Forty percent!" Except for this year, of course. This year the number knocked about is seventy, and my neighbors are not screaming it as much as

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1130039771697985712005-10-22T22:43:00.000-05:002005-10-22T23:03:33.246-05:00

My wife and I are in the midst of a documentary marathon this weekend, and there's more to come next weekend as well. The Hot Springs Documentary Film Festival kicked off last Friday, and will run for a full ten days. Disguised as professional journalists on the job (and not people who want to watch a bunch of free movies), Mrs. Tool and I have attended faithfully for three years now, and we've

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1129857100308028352005-10-20T20:01:00.000-05:002005-10-20T20:12:26.426-05:00

This one should be fairly short, as the link will speak for itself. And honestly, I am left flabbergasted by its content. As, I think, will you be, though I am positively champing at the bit to read your reactions.Courtesy of my dawg goetter of MonkeyFilter fame, I give you THE GREATEST SUPER VILLAIN OF ALL TIME!!!Some things lend themselves well to Freudian analysis. Cigars, trees, airplanes,

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1129595445510810442005-10-17T19:19:00.000-05:002005-12-20T15:48:38.710-06:00

This week we again delve into the Epicurean here at The Tool Shed, a light (but serious) exploration of the finer things in life. I personally prefer the small joys: a warm pair of socks in the winter, a good wood fire, the nape of my wife's neck. A hot shower. A good pen. Two that are forever gone from my life: a good pipe and a fifteen-dollar cigar. The pleasure is not worth the cancer or

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1129084724429552472005-10-11T21:38:00.000-05:002005-10-11T21:38:44.443-05:00

GO TO CHURCH, OR I WILL SMITE THEE WITH A PLAGUE OF OOMPA-LOOMPAS.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1128976226191124252005-10-10T15:20:00.000-05:002005-10-10T20:08:23.483-05:00

Everybody needs a little boost to the ego now and then, something or someone to pat us on the back and remind us that we're doing well. If, on the contrary, we find ourselves struggling just to stay afloat, paddling madly just to keep from being pulled under by the weight of our own baggage, then encouragement can help us find new strength. Anything that can offer us that encouragement, then,

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1128713064198135192005-10-07T13:13:00.000-05:002005-10-07T14:39:19.803-05:00

It's October, and October brings a wealth of good news. Midterms are nearly all over, and I'm finally just about caught up. Halloween's right around the corner. We awoke to our first good morning chill just today. I'm eyeing my sweaters and flannel shirts. There's plenty of firewood for the chiminea, and hot toddys aren't far off. The weather's finally getting cool enough that soon I'll be

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1128363271100201572005-10-03T12:58:00.000-05:002005-10-03T13:40:45.236-05:00

After my two weeks of rest, I feel sufficiently energized to derail my previous theme non-starter and start fresh with a completely different tool. Said tool came in very, very handy this weekend, and innumerable times before. This tool is more versatile than a Swiss Army knife, more fun than an Xbox, more informative than the World Book Encyclopedias, softer than a hammer, and sweeter-smelling

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1127752735416711822005-09-26T11:29:00.000-05:002005-09-26T11:38:56.040-05:00

Hey, everyone, just wanted to check in briefly and touch base. It's good to be missed, and I appreciate the concern, but I am around — just not posting, for the nonce. I decided to take last week off on the spur of the moment, and I'm officially extending that vacation one more week. Just need some time to decompress, that's all. So I'll have new content up next week, but I'll be around in

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1126555145571479932005-09-12T14:58:00.000-05:002005-09-12T20:00:53.266-05:00

You know what this site needs more of? Themes. You may be asking yourself, "Why? Why themes? Is it because they make everything more fun? Is it to keep things fresh and topical? Is it because themes focus topics of interest, thereby letting me know if I can take a break from reading this drivel for the next few weeks? Is it because they force you to stop your incessant blathering about

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1126298633066970642005-09-09T15:12:00.000-05:002005-09-09T15:43:53.080-05:00

The fallout of Katrina's wrath has been better documented elsewhere, so I'll spare you the commentary here. There's a lot to say about it, for sure, particularly for how poorly my government, the richest and most powerful on the globe, cares for its desperate and needy. Our response, particularly those who favor the "every man for himself" school of thought, ranges from the inept to the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1125981085128085752005-09-05T23:21:00.000-05:002005-09-05T23:31:25.136-05:00

This week's tool...man, I don't know what to tell you. If it weren't for this week's tool, I wouldn't be here to tell you what this week's tool is. This week's tool saved my ass, man, saved my ass. I've got a story to tell, and it ain't pretty, so let's just cut to the heart of it right now:This week's tool is the Chainsaw.So we had a minor act of God last week, a massive tree branch in our

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1125866921742245552005-09-04T15:41:00.000-05:002005-09-04T15:48:41.753-05:00

Due to the interest in the painting and accompanying story I described in a previous thread, I contacted my father and asked him to snap a photo of it for me. I don't think he understood why (I've not yet told them about this place, though I may soon reconsider that plan), but he got it to me in short order. I now have it set as my desktop background.I also asked him for some details of the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1125506415033926822005-08-31T11:20:00.000-05:002005-08-31T12:54:16.196-05:00

It's a special time here in the U.S., one of the most popular holidays we've ever come up with. Next Monday begins our national celebration of sloth, barbecue, and driving under the influence we call Labor Day, the only federal holiday instituted to let everyone know when they can stop wearing white shoes. That also goes for linen and seersucker, by the way, but here I'd like to interject my

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1125334978370567952005-08-29T11:58:00.000-05:002005-08-29T12:02:58.380-05:00

This week we go to the magical land of periodicals, a place of shiny, slick paper and annoying subscription cards and unrealistically beautiful people. We travel here in search of helpful advice, how-to instructions for projects big and small, good writing, and no small amount of whimsy. We look for a magazine full of stuff I like, in other words.We find it, dear readers, within the pages of

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1125008340936410732005-08-25T17:18:00.000-05:002005-08-25T20:39:53.023-05:00

So there's a picture that hangs outside my parents' bedroom. It's in the hall just off the main entryway, roughly halfway down, where almost nobody ever sees it. Go past the photo of my dad's first grade class, past the antique game table that my idiot brother cracked when we were kids, turn left before the living room.It's been awhile since I heard this story, so I may get some of this wrong.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1124727532429164762005-08-22T11:08:00.000-05:002005-08-22T11:20:11.356-05:00

Since its first splattering crawl out of the primordial ooze and on to terra firma, since drawing its first breath of the rareified air of freedom, humanity has been in constant, unceasing pursuit of its own perfection. As the first and only species on the planet to develop language, we birthed a host of ideas unknown to all other creatures. We alone know hope and despair, truth and lies,

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1124294430192465182005-08-17T10:54:00.000-05:002005-08-17T11:00:30.203-05:00

Well, I've put it off long enough, but now that I'm back home and don't have anything particularly interesting to write about, it's time to finally put the cap on our little vanity film project by reporting the official results to you, my ever-faithful readers. Thank you, both of you.There's little if anything in the way of surprises coming from the official report, but certainly all the teams

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1124146301865592672005-08-15T17:35:00.000-05:002005-08-15T17:51:41.873-05:00

I return to you, faithful readers and assorted malcontents, exhausted and delighted after my weeklong adventure. I'm happy to report that Mrs. Tool and I found both excitement and rest, good food, good sights, and as always, good friends to share our evenings with. As we sank into the serenity of Central Missouri's wine and antique country, I realized I'd been remiss in my weekly tool posts, that

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1123105914273452552005-08-03T16:29:00.000-05:002005-08-03T16:51:54.283-05:00

Starting Saturday, Mrs. Tool and I are taking our act on the road, taking our first vacation since Christmas. It'll be a whirlwind tour through the Hollywood glamour and glory that is the state of Missouri. The trip will be a partial recreation of the trip we took the weekend we got engaged, swinging up through St. Louis and catching the last game we'll ever see at Busch Stadium, then swinging

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1122930232817311022005-08-01T15:55:00.000-05:002005-08-01T16:03:52.826-05:00

Anyone who's fond of words must by definition be fond of both pen and paper, too. I've reported on their virtues, which are legion, in previous TotW posts, as many of you know. I'm absolutely obsessed with good notebooks, myself. If I can find one that's tough and compact enough to carry in my pocket, I practically want to marry the damned thing. I even once made my own pocket notebook cover

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1122741303146318022005-07-30T11:34:00.000-05:002005-07-30T13:10:35.896-05:00

Yesterday, on my way to work, I passed a local celebrity. Pretty much everybody around here knows this guy — even those who haven't laid eyes on him have heard of him. Practically nobody actually knows his name, but that doesn't make him any less famous. He is known instead by his unofficial title: The Crazy Guy with the Dummy.The Crazy Guy with the Dummy (hereafter CGWD) is something of a

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1122326211447547002005-07-25T16:13:00.000-05:002005-07-25T16:16:51.473-05:00

This morning I awoke to a strangled cry — weak, shrill, as coarse and rattling as a sack of broken glass dragged across asphalt. I peered out my window and there on my sill stood an emaciated crow, wobbling, seeming to summon every last scrap of its will into its legs. After a moment it faltered, and fell to the yard below with a hollow thump.In the distance I heard an elderly woman's impotent

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1122066097996724902005-07-22T15:52:00.000-05:002005-07-22T16:01:38.006-05:00

Last night the room was more full of spirit than a pentecostal tent revival. After the final two screenings (the Group B screenings), everyone gathered at an altogether-too-noisy piano bar downtown for the wrap party and shouted congratulations to one another. The beer was flowing fast and cheap, there was a lot of shop talk and bragging on one another, and when I at last drove home and washed

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121966704488001182005-07-21T12:18:00.000-05:002005-07-21T17:53:32.880-05:00

We played to a sold-out crowd at Market Street Cinema last night. The filmmakers comprised at least half of the crowd, but I believe there were quite a few not involved with the project who showed up to see our work. About 200 total, I believe, for the first showing alone. Team Arkansas Times took up three rows in the theater (carefully guarded by myself and another crew member), with some

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121742680583253252005-07-18T21:31:00.000-05:002005-07-18T22:13:02.423-05:00

So I'm happy overall. As predicted, the film is a bit warty, but overall, given what we had, I think we made one hell of an ambitious 48-hour movie. Very ambitious, compared to what I've heard the other movies did. Come Wednesday night, they'll be thanking whatever lesser god they worship that we were late. I can't wait for the screening.It's warty, as I was warned — number one problem was

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121720835566044042005-07-18T16:01:00.000-05:002005-07-18T16:07:15.576-05:00

A tool, of course, can only be measured by its usefulness. That's the most important thing of all. When evaluating whether a tool is worth owning, one only need ask, "Does it do its job, and does it do it well?" If the answer to those two questions is resounding "yes," then the tool can truly be said to be good.However, style also counts for something. A tool can have aesthetic as well as

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121652658531473002005-07-17T21:04:00.000-05:002005-07-17T21:11:50.183-05:00

Well, Mrs. Tool and I managed to fuck things up for everybody. That's how it feels from this end, anyway. No matter what happens, My Hero cannot go to nationals.Robert had promised to call if he needed help, if you'll recall. So I spent my evening here, at my brother- and sister-in-law's place, waiting for the call, but none came. I spent most of it online, both blogging here and just jumping

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121559620698700022005-07-16T19:15:00.000-05:002005-07-16T22:29:59.143-05:00

The thunder gods have shown us favor today. Despite some rumbling upon the horizon and much greyness overhead, we got every external shot we needed. Nothing but heat and humidity to contend with — which was enough, as the unexpected happened.I was asked to suit up and fight. Avid devotee of villainy and scalawagity that I am, I bought some tights. But we'll get to that in a minute.At the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121495339753406782005-07-16T00:40:00.000-05:002005-07-16T01:28:59.763-05:00

Damn if today wasn't just interminable. Nothing is as boundless as ten hours of work when you've got such fun as this waiting for you afterward. But as it turned out, the wait was worth it. The gods of filmdom smiled beatifically upon us, in fact, and chose me as their prophet.Yes, children, I am their prophet. For upon my arrival home from work, out of the dozens of stylish t-shirts in my

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121397921786438332005-07-14T22:14:00.000-05:002005-07-15T08:23:58.263-05:00

David Koon, our fearless team leader and paragon of good writing, has actually constructed a crane. A twelve-foot, smooth-as-silk camera crane. The man built a frigging crane. In his shop. A crane. Robert Kirkpatrick, our director, offered to leave his wife and run off to Tahiti with him. Because, you know, the man built a crane.In short, Thursday evening's meeting went very well. Spirits

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121193189537975182005-07-12T13:16:00.000-05:002005-07-12T13:33:09.543-05:00

There's a bit of excitement this week here in Little Rock, excitement which I intend to spill all over the pages of The Tool Shed like so much hot, buttery joy. Pardon me.The 48 Hour Film Project has come to Little Rock this year, and Mrs. Tool and I have joined Team Arkansas Times. And I, ever your dutiful servant, will blog the whole damn thing.The hook is this, if you've not heard of the

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1121116447900517522005-07-11T15:57:00.000-05:002005-07-11T16:14:07.910-05:00

My maternal grandfather was, in his day, quite the jack of all trades. Came up as a farmer, started his life and his family poorer than the dirt he turned, and gradually built a life for them raising cattle and grain. Later, as his health began to deteriorate, he found a job selling insurance, and prospered in that business as well, but he continued to run the farm until his body just couldn't

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1120748084676911342005-07-07T09:03:00.000-05:002005-07-07T09:54:44.680-05:00

Last night I had a post crafted in my head and ready to write this morning before I go into work. But it seems that there are more significant things to discuss today than what I had in mind. Terrorists detonated at least four explosions so far on London's transit system. Most were set off in Underground stations, and one on a double-decker bus. As of this writing, the BBC is holding firm to

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1120579077290314782005-07-05T10:50:00.000-05:002005-07-05T11:01:47.150-05:00

We're all about the good food around here at The Tool Shed. We love to cook, and we damn sure love to eat. Why, just last night we resurrected some leftover angel hair pasta we'd thrown in the fridge by cooking up some of Mrs. Tool's famous chunky red sauce, roasting four heads of garlic and toasting half of a French baguette in the oven. When we were done we stank, but we were very satisfied.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1120063391421704482005-06-29T11:40:00.000-05:002005-06-29T15:35:20.136-05:00

Listen to this: It is a grave duty which I now face. In preparing for it, I have tried to enquire: what great principle or ideal is it that has kept this Union so long together? And I believe that it was not the mere matter of separation of the colonies from the motherland, but that sentiment in the Declaration of Independence which gave liberty to the people of this country and hope to all

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1119900693457296522005-06-27T14:28:00.000-05:002005-06-27T14:31:33.463-05:00

Tool post this week is super for your feet terrific happy! For you to this tool buy, your toes does go whee with joy and you say aha, I am wiser for purchase this soft tool that happy my feet become.Aha! This week your tool post on internet weblog site is Man Slipper!From their internet web site description say: Who ever you are, having this man slipper is so functional yet beneficial for you.

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1119364857648988142005-06-21T08:56:00.000-05:002005-06-21T15:42:39.790-05:00

Ah, we're going for that community spirit this week. You know what I'm talking about: common people, folks like you and me, coming together in the name of a shared interest. We are drawn inexorably to each other, pulled — nay, yanked — into a shared embrace by something which truly matters, something of deep and lasting significance, something which burns brightly in the hearts of all

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1118956593673386872005-06-16T15:40:00.000-05:002005-06-16T16:16:33.690-05:00

Last week Mrs. Tool and I were in stereotypically Southern mode, sitting out on our front porch swing after dinner, taking in the sunset and talking about nothing in particular as we sipped our wine. There eventually came a lull in the conversation, the way they always do, and it was Mrs. Tool and her dog-like ears that picked it out. "Listen," she said. "Cicadas."Sure enough, I could hear

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1118699233199984012005-06-13T16:09:00.000-05:002005-06-13T16:48:20.640-05:00

More and more of my non-tech friends are getting interested in running their own blogs and/or assorted websites, and I've been getting more and more "how did you do..." requests via e-mail (which I'm more than happy to answer, by the way), so I thought I'd dedicate a TotW post just to them. My fellow webdorks, I beg your patience while I help out the n00bs with some good resources.This week's

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1118413662584363362005-06-10T09:18:00.000-05:002005-06-10T11:07:18.456-05:00

After I'd graduated from high school, I went on to a short-lived academic career at the University of Missouri in Kansas City. This was following a misguided belief that my future lay in becoming a Doctor of Pharmacy and ultimately settling in to do clinical work in either pediatrics or geriatrics. A few weeks of organic chemistry and a general personal meltdown ultimately cured me of that

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1118095061021204132005-06-06T16:54:00.000-05:002005-06-06T16:57:41.026-05:00

Today we'll be delving into the world of woodworking-related tools, whence I have chosen a small but useful little invention that's good to keep around just for minor touchups. If you have kids or pets or a spouse who bumps into things a lot, you'll find a lot of use for them.This week's tool is the Minwax Wood Finish Stain Marker.I file this one under "simple and useful." In retrospect, it's

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1117743752047229662005-06-02T14:09:00.000-05:002005-06-02T15:22:32.083-05:00

A recent conversation with some friends online got me to thinking about places and times when I'd been happiest. The question was initially framed more along the lines of where you'd like to be when you die, what place you've visited that has filled you with the greatest sense of peace and satisfaction. But I couldn't separate place from moment, location from memory. Sure, there are places

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1117578835519785522005-05-31T17:05:00.000-05:002005-05-31T17:33:55.533-05:00

My apologies for the late post this week. I was predictably derailed by the holiday weekend, which proved to be a wonderful (and ultimately exhausting) time. However, this week's tool was in fact inspired by that weekend, as Mrs. Tool and I got a lot of mileage out of them, and even made a welcome addition to our lives due in part to one of them. It's something we often take for granted until

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1117164185850772512005-05-26T22:16:00.000-05:002005-05-26T23:42:12.580-05:00

Nicknames that nobody ever called me, even though I really wished they would, and even on occasion tried telepathically suggesting that they do:The Torque WrenchTurkey Creek Jack JohnsonDub (pre-2000 elections)Johnny NinjapantsKid LightningThe ProfessorBlind Wray-Wray Reed, King of the HamboneCabana BoyThe Mad Dancin' HonkyCompletely impractical superheroes who would be pretty ineffective at

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1116877245999607602005-05-23T14:37:00.000-05:002005-05-23T14:40:46.013-05:00

File this week's tool under nifty gadgetry and impressive net design. This is one useful little mother of a web application, something that will help keep you organized and keep track of all your to-do lists and projects, and yet requires no special software at all, as it will run in most major web browsers. This is one of the neatest and most useful applications of web stylesheets and dynamic

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1116521691164252882005-05-19T11:29:00.000-05:002005-05-19T11:54:51.183-05:00

So to break up the Star Wars-related posts (that's two, count 'em, two so far), I thought I'd switch gears and go for something a little more personal. I thought I'd tell a family anecdote, something to make for a light-hearted Thursday. In short, I thought I'd make a post about my grandfather's penis.Wait. Let me back up a minute.Tony Bennett tells the story of the first time he ever heard

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1116264573269368282005-05-16T12:24:00.000-05:002005-05-16T12:29:33.286-05:00

Our second reader-submitted TotW! Alert reader the quidnunc kid pointed out over in this thread a glaring tool omission, a violation so blatant and offensive that I should probably relinquish my nerd license and stop practicing in this state immediately.This week's tool, hands-down the sweetest tool ever created — never mind the fact that it's not real — is The Lightsaber (LINK PROVIDED BY ALERT

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1115930062301538232005-05-12T14:29:00.000-05:002005-05-12T15:34:22.406-05:00

As of this writing, we are officially but one week away from the conclusion of probably the largest film series franchise in history when Star Wars Episode III is released.I first started writing this post about two or three weeks ago and decided to put it off for a more timely release, and I'm glad I did. I was bracing myself for the cinematic bitchslapping of a lifetime, the final

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1115665095351833932005-05-09T13:56:00.000-05:002005-05-09T13:58:15.363-05:00

For this week, I've chosen a tool you all have on you right now, something you carry with you all day, something you have far more of than you need to get to the end of the day. And as you read this, there are tens of thousands who could use it.This week's tool is one unit of whole blood.One unit of whole blood can save up to three lives. Two units can get someone through a kidney transplant

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1115388434623100122005-05-06T08:58:00.000-05:002005-05-06T12:28:33.673-05:00

Last night I began what will be the fourth reading in as many years of one of the best damn novels I've ever read in my life, a little gem called The Chess Garden, written by Brooks Hansen. I'd been putting it off for a month, partly to wait for the end of the semester so I could really immerse myself in it again, partly just to let the anticipation build a little more. More fun that way.The

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1115072426647404742005-05-02T17:04:00.000-05:002005-05-02T17:20:26.650-05:00

This week we're going with something more traditionally considered to be a tool, abandoning my usual it's-my-website-and-it's-a-tool-if-I-say-so-dammit weekly post. This week we're going with the tool everyone knows, owns, and loves, the common household screwdriver, though I'll be shilling for my own favorite fancy-pants version, as it's just really damn cool, not to mention handy as all

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1114699130809264092005-04-28T09:21:00.000-05:002005-04-28T09:40:10.293-05:00

So due to my willingness to exploit my wife as a connection to the world of legitimate journalism, coupled with her total disregard for professional ethics, The Tool Shed has gotten some local ink. This week's issue of the Arkansas Times, Little Rock's alternative weekly newspaper. I and my collection of cleverly-applied html tags are now known to dozens, perhaps even scores of people in

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112972.post-1114455798619032082005-04-25T13:57:00.000-05:002005-04-25T14:03:18.623-05:00

This week's tool marks our first ever reader submission, brought to us here at Tool Shed Enterprises by alert reader Scott Standridge. His coolhunting skills are clearly not to be trifled with, as I'm sure you'll realize when you click the link. I have not used one of these in person, so I cannot vouch for actual quality, but this is just too damn cool for words.Finally, a kitchen tool that

middleclasstoolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452082859577976245noreply@blogger.com2